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Blog, Mum Life, Pregnancy

A letter to my firstborn on the eve of becoming a sibling

To my gorgeous girl,

It is just two weeks until I am due to give birth to your baby brother or sister. But really, it could be any day now. As I give you a kiss while you sleep each night I wonder if tomorrow will be the day that our party of three becomes a party of four and you take on the role of big sister.

It is a role that I know you will step into with ease. You already walk around the house telling us all that you are mummy while I take on the role of sister. You push your babies in their pram and tell us to be quiet while they are sleeping, carefully checking on them every so often to make sure they are ok. I see you with other kids and younger babies and know that you were born to be a big sister. A born leader with compassion, empathy, resilience and strength.

I think back to when you were born and I spent those first few days in hospital with you. I remember wanting to go through the whole amazing experience of birth again and yet so sure that I could never love another as much as I loved you. You made me a mummy and for that I will always be so thankful.

I feel you clinging ever tighter to me in these past few weeks and I feel the same way. I don’t want to change a single thing about the relationship we have and yet I know that our new baby will only add to that relationship. It will make parts of your personality shine and it will make our time together, just the two of us, even more special.

I don’t know what your brother or sister is going to be like. Will they be a dream sleeper like you? Will they have your fierce and stubborn nature? Will they share your vivid imagination and storytelling ability? Or will they be quiet and calm? The yin to your yang? You will probably fight, I sure know my sister and I did when we were growing up. But I also know that having a sibling is like nothing else. You will always have someone to back you and likewise them.

Adjusting to our new life might be difficult at first but then think of all the adventures we will have together. Someone to play with, share holidays with, and likely get up to mischief with. An instant best friend. Our house will be noisier and messier but infinitely happier and more fun. The happiest sound to my ears is your laughter and I can’t wait to fill my heart with the sound of my two children laughing together.

You have taught me so much about myself over the past three years. How much patience I have (or don’t have depending on the day), how to be present in the moment, not caring about what anyone else thinks, how to negotiate with the best! But most of all, you have taught me that I have an endless capacity to love. To love regardless of the circumstance or situation. To love unconditionally and without judgement. I may have taught you many things but you have repaid me in ways you will never know, until you have your own children perhaps. Thank you for all the lessons you have given me on being a mum. I am your ever faithful student, eager to continue my studies, although I don’t think the book can ever be finished completely.

So as I take us all, our little family, into the next chapter of our lives, know that you are everything to me, no matter who else enters our lives. As my bump has expanded, so has my heart, adding a new chamber for a new baby, but keeping your place it in safe and protected, eternally.

Love always, mummy xx

 

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